he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
