Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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