So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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