if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
