if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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