Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
