he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
