I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
