doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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