I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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