What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Randomize