I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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