Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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