If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
