no, he came in my armpit
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
