But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
