She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I had to cum in my sink.
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