please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
