Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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