white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
