The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
only if we run a train.
done.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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