What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
