I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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