that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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