You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
