Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
