no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
