just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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