I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
