official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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