Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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