Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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