last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
