I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Your dad touched me again.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
