I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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