This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
