I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
