I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
