I'm really into asian looking animals
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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