Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
