I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he shaved USA in his pubs
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
