you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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