if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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