I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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