You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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