I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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