I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
