That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?