apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
