He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
