She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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