hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
