you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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