but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Found your dick twin last night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
