The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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