he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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