I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
