Will you blow on my dice?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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