Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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