How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Too much gin, very little bucket
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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