yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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