is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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