just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
