I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
