is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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