But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
