Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
People in love make me want to vomit
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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