I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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