she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
