My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
