She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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