To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
