Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
