you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
